today is the first day i ever cried over a boy

Merry Christmas everyone for yesterday!!! Hope it was a blessed day... count your blessings. family and food are some of the most important blessings on Christmas, but Jesus is definitely the biggest blessing in my life. I love Him and even though i had a pretty down day, i know he is there.

BUT today was baddd, ENNY likes a girl and its obviously not me. Enny's sister was going on about the girl he loves and apparently shes really nice and pretty. I acted like I didnt care and deceived myself into thinking i dont care...cos i dont really show emotion.

But as soon as i got in the car on my own, i balled, seriously i was crying so much. I didnt think i would react that much. I have NEVER being even close to crying over a boy. i suppose it was just the thought that he likes someone else.

I shouldnt have so much pride and be so selfish to want him but i have never felt this way about anyone. I know he's not marrying her or anything, but u cant help but feel crushed. After this, i went to my cousins house where my bestest buddies are and they were such champs...they helped me alot and made me laugh so i would forget it for a little while. but now im home alone, and im feeling down.

The big question is what to do next.

Do i forget? or do i keep hoping?

I'll be asking God this one. He always answers your prayers, just sometimes doesnt answer the way you want.

i dont know what to call this

well howdy do. its been a while cos ive been in sydney.

firstly i will say i still cant get over what reg told me last night and am peeing my pants its that funny. well not quite.

ive had such an embarrasing moments kinda week. slipped on petrol @ the petrol station, i cried watching barbie island princess with my niece, stacked it @ the escalators in sydney, a bird shat on me at a friends bbq while i was swinging on the swing- i mean cmon that is so precise. i hate birds with a passion i know God made them but the evil that they created on my jeans and my head will forever scar me. also i spilt white chocolate luquidy stuff on my expensive grab denim shorts boooooooo....this is all in 5 days. there are worse things that could happen...

drove a manual car with my bestie on the way back from sydney it was wierd had to learn how to use gears and shiz. i met her housemate in sydney and he told me that he used to be a drug dealer in Holland selling cocaine and speed i was like errrrrrr... wow? then hes like oh yeh but i had a conversion so i stopped dealing. *phew* but then hes like but 'i still smoke pot/weed once a week' *my face literally drops* im like to my bffl ummm why would u live with him? but apparently he says that it doesnt harm u- i am like that is such BS you come from another planet mate go back

well looking forward to seeing friends and family over christmas, hopefully heaps of beach days to come. i miss yfc already, note to self--- GET BAND STARTED

I am totally obsessed with the owl city song it literally is my high right now and i love the lyrics. when the girls showed me the song first apparently i said it was gay. i take that back and i apologise for making such an awful statement about a awesome song. here are the top 5 songs on my itunes this week:

owl city- fireflies

all time low- weightless

chris brown- crawl

chris tomlin- God of this city

vampire weekend- cousins

oh i ate so much in sydney i nearly exploded- i have a fat face.

for your blogification

today children, you will learn something about my culture... which is from the country THE NETHERLANDS.

The Netherlands is often called Holland. Dutch is used to refer to the people, the language, and anything pertaining to the Netherlands.

The Netherlands is a country in Northwestern Europe.

The Netherlands is a densely populated country.

It is known for its windmills, tulips, clogs, gouda cheese, visual artists, bicycles. (LOL) The country has more recently become known for its liberal policies towards drugs- it is legal to smoke pot there. (thats why we are all crazy in the head.)

The predominant wind direction in the Netherlands is south-west, which causes a moderate maritime climate, with cool summers and mild winters. IMPORTANT TO KNOW

the flag looks like this:

and the country looks like this:

wow. its so huge

also, the dutch are very multicultural people. It is a hotspot for migrants (probably because everything is allowed). After actual dutch people, the next highest cultural group are INDONESIANS. WOW

so there u have it. i hope you have learnt something today about my culture.

I am very hyper today...i did some strange things and i got my cousin to prank REG hahaha she had no idea its was us and she blamed MARY. gotcha! now i gotta get mj n janelle still...

I am slowly realising i am still such a kid

hi :)

today i was babysitting my three nieces all day 8.30-5.30 looong day. and i was soo tired i fell asleep while the baby (alicia) was asleep and while we were watching yo gabba gabba I FELL ASLEEP on the couch. i was woken with a AUNTY CASS IM HUNGRY.

but seriously i effin loves these kids and would die a thousand times over for them. they make me laugh so much. i love their innocence.

i was talkin with my girl tara who is 7(in yr 1) and she was like 'do you have kids aunty cass?' im like 'you know i dont' LOL and we were talkin abt me gettn married and stuff and shes like 'do u know there is a country where women can get married to women?' im like WTF how does she know abt this stufff and she knows so much more about stuff then i ever knew @ that age. i didnt kno nothn @ that age!!...i feel sorry for her generation- such a twisted world she has to grow up in and its harder than ever to be a christian. SORRY serious moment.

anyways i was heaps tired and boring the first part of the day and then i just changed like THAT. i think actually it was after the donut...lol- i was soooo hyper and was havin heaps of fun with the kids and we made a drama club bahaha heaps fun. thats pretty much sums up my moods these days--- i'll be heaps lazy,relaxed/emo just a fat potatoe and then suddenly somethn clicks and i just have a massive burst of energy (generally after sugar).

went to lunch with my best high school buddy eloise on mon whos out from sydney..love that girl miss her. we went to billy baxters & it was SHITE. dont go there, unless u like crap food. speaking of food, i feel like filo food hahahaha

currently obsessed with jason derulo whatcha say even though its old now.

cant wait for christmas gpm this week :)

fun times

been a while bcos well i forgot i had a blog looool anyways tonight was kinda fun and i was in a wierd mood. i think its cos there are heaps of gooood things coming up. like YFC christmas party this weeek, leave for sydney the next day to seeee my bestie and we r driving back together... its gna be so much fun!! we are going past melbourne on the way back. parties coming up and then CHRISTMAS YAY... and i will get the bestest present this yr. Just the prescence of a certain boy at christmas lunch makes me wanna cry/faint/die at the same time. when i found out i would see HIM at xmas i did a little dance and then had a fit. im so excited.

lol i had the funniest day the other day... went for a walk along the beach with my two bestest cuzns and i slipped on this biggish rock and fell on my arse...heaps of ppl saw but we were actually laughing so hard i didnt care. then some random threw a ball near me and three MASSIVE dogs came charging @ me...i screamed so loud. the owners were like ummm sorry about that and for some reason i said 'nah dont worry i was confusing them' haha what the?? meanwhile my cuzns r like pissin themselves laughn @ me.

if you cant laugh yourself, then who can you laugh at? chyeah

ok cant sleep and its 1:51am. this is gna be wierd (cos its heaps emotional 4 me haha) for all my followers [LOL] out there who read this but i gta get it off my chest- so i can actually sleep. i gotta say how i feel.

You were normal,

then you started lying to your family, i stood up for you in front of them

then you lied to my family, i still defended you in front of them

then you start lying to yourself, i tried to help you

then you lie to me, i still stick up for you

then you hurt me, you actually have done it so much, i didnt even notice

but now ive woken up and im done.

im not taking it anymore, Im not gonna be pushed around by you anymore. Praise God for the great friends i have that make me realise what normal friends do and what they dont do like USE ppl. like hell, you dont come to my bday party cos u gotta water your parents plants?? No joke, the message read "sorry cass i cant come gotta water the parentals' plants and clean the bird cage, love you so much xoxoxo" WTF??? SERIOUSLY must be some special effin birds and some bloody priceless, rare plants if you cant come for that reason!! i didnt really care actually, but then my family said i shouldnt take your lies. I lie to your family for you when you do the wrong thing, stick up for the s*** decisions you've made in life, and you cant even give me 5 mins on my birthday????????!! oh wait you left a card on the table and some money inside...heaps of thought and time put into that one... you always say you love me heaps and im such a great friend but it means jack.

But you know what? I still love you. But only when you are YOU. Not this person you've become. I dont even recognise you anymore. Youre so effin unpredictable!! We all want the OLD you back.

I pray for you all the time, ive even become sick of doin that. Because in the end, you cant help someone that cant help themself first. If YOU arent willing to change your life around, i cant make you do it. The other day you said to me you were jealous of my happiness and how content i am. I said that it was because i know God loves me. You rolled your eyes... 'heard that one before'. If only you knew how much God cared for you and bleeds for you right now, you wouldve never have done this to yourself, your BF and everyone else. Im so glad I know of God's love for me...I try to share it with you but you just think imma freak. You're so blinded by this fake world your consumed in. I will always love you but i can't be friends. We are just cousins for now.

You're never gonna read this

I wish you would

Cos Im too gutless to say it to your face

after all the stuff you've done, I still am concerned about your feelings.

The picture is from the last time i remember having fun with you (Christmas 08) thats the person i want back.

Ahh i feel better.I bet ppl are laughing reading this. But im being for real. for once.

love new music

LISTEN

http://www.ryanseacrest.com/blog/whats-happening/timbaland-debuts-new-song-carry-out-featuring-justin-timberlake/

welcome to me...well my blog =)

helllo well ive created a blog after Maddy suggested i do. Now i think it was a mistake...wth do i write about anyways??? sif anyone will care? lol anyway we will see over time. Just wanna say i love all my friends and they make me laugh so much- i think thats what is really important with friendships ya gotta have a laugh at each other!peace =)

still cant believe im doing this....

yesterday i had one of those days where everything went wrong and everything seems to annoy you. ever had one of those? my parents were at me cos they want me to work in a law firm (ewwww so not ready yet), my brother wouldnt let me have the car *screams*, i found out i have to babysit on the weekend some really annoying - allergic to everything kids LOL my cousin is driving me crazy and worst of all found out my friends dad has cancer :(. so many more things as well. everything was annoying me as well. like im sitting on the couch watching tv with my dad and he is breathing SO loud...sounds mean but omgsh its so annoying. here im trying to watch the magic of celebrity masterchef unfold and i have a rhino sitting next to me. oh and as well i try to make brownies and they are a big FAIL. sorry for all the complaining. but then it all went away- my bestie in Sydney rang me and we talked for 2 hrs (thats gotta be expensive) praise God- he sent her to cheer me up. Woke up today with a better attitude and no more complaining ! =)