i can feel it..

im on the verge of a breakdown.. and im not being dramatic- cos thats never been my style.
I feel like one day im just gonna burst when least expected. However, it's comforting to know certain people always have my back. God help me persevere.

Ps. i know there are people out there who love me for who i am and who make an effort. so thankYOU.

L for LOSER

wow its been like a century since i blogged. but i needed to vent so bad and i dont wanna put this on people.

like honestly isnt it annoying.. when: the only guy youve ever had feelings for, the only guy who youve ever just liked their personality and the only guy where you love his family- is taken. I know im overreacting because you cant mourn for something you never had in the first place. but idk i always had this feeling... like if i dont marry him , i'll never marry. and i feel like A BLOODY LOSER for having feelings for someone who doesnt love me back. but i have to move on... i think i will just live with the fact that i loved him once.

on a second note.. just in general i feel like i have so much love for so many people. as in friendship wise... i feel like i just wanna hug everybody.. but nobody feels the same way back (except family). i hate it cos i feel like a freakinstupidloser- why do i bother. why do i choose to love people who dont love me back.? i dont feel sorry for myself. im just pissed off with the way i am.

i need God more than ever.